


Of God and Goblins

by alynwa



Series: Sugar and Spies Tales [7]
Category: Man From U.N.C.L.E.
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-22
Updated: 2012-09-22
Packaged: 2017-11-14 19:59:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/518981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alynwa/pseuds/alynwa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Halloween but, Leona has weightier concerns. Fanfic author GM deserves acknowledgment for the concept of "Tartarus." Original characters are mine and the boys are not. This stands alone but, reading "School Daze" helps.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of God and Goblins

 

"Daddy?"

Napoleon was sitting in the living room of the main apartment wearing sweatpants and a T - shirt reading the Sunday New York Times on a warm October morning while Leona Nicole leaned against his side with her picture book and her feet up on the couch. He loved Sundays. When he and Illya were not on a mission, they made it their business to spend them with Leona. It didn't matter what they did as long as they were together. This particular Sunday, Illya was still sleeping while he and Leona had awakened within thirty minutes of each other. They kept each other company while Napoleon made a Quiche Lorraine and put it in the oven.

"Yes, Leona?"

"If I did something bad, would you still love me?"

Thrown by the unexpected question, he put the newspaper down and twisted around to look at the little girl which caused her to sit up straight. Leona was four; an extremely bright, precocious four; articulate and in some ways, mature beyond her years. She looked up at him anxiously.

"Leona, I will always love you; you are my baby."

She nodded and leaned back into his body with a little sigh. He reached out to pick the little girl up and placed her on his lap. He hugged and kissed her and said softly, "Leona, do you know that you can tell me and Papa anything? You know that, don't you?"

"Yes, Daddy."

"And, there is nothing you could do to make either one of us stop loving you. _Nothing,_ " Napoleon avowed earnestly, "Do you understand?"

She put her arms around his necked and hugged him tightly. "Yes, Daddy, I understand."

"Good." He sat her back on the sofa and smiled at her warmly. "So, please tell Daddy why you asked that question. I really want to know."

"Papa said that next year I'm going to school."

Napoleon had to smile at the seriousness of the expression on Leona's face. "Yes, that is true," he responded, "You're going to the UN International School."

"But, Daddy, Paige doesn't go there! She goes to Marymount! Why can't I go to school with her? She's my best friend!" She began to cry. "Paige said she heard Uncle Lamont and Aunt Rosie talking in the kitchen and they said that Papa doesn't believe in God and I have to go to a different school because he doesn't want me to be a cat lick. Paige said Aunt Rosie said Papa thinks being a cat lick is bad. Is it bad to be a cat lick and like God? Will Papa think I'm bad if I go to school with Paige and be a cat lick?" She buried her face in Napoleon's chest and cried harder.

Napoleon could see how upsetting this whole issue was for her so, he decided to let her mispronunciation go uncorrected for the time being. He also thought it would confuse the little girl if he told her that he had been raised Catholic and had, in fact, attended Catholic school through twelfth grade. He hugged her and whispered in her ear, "Don't cry, Leona. Listen to me." He wiped away her tears while she sat forlornly and quiet. "Papa and I love you; we will always love you no matter what. It's not a bad thing to like God, Leona; I believe in God."

"You do, Daddy?"

He grinned at her and kissed her forehead. "Yes, I do. I always have."

Leona smiled and said, "So, I can go to school with Paige if we tell Aunt Rosie and Uncle Lamont you believe in God?"

Napoleon set her on the floor and stood up. "Papa and I have to talk about that before we talk to anyone else. Whatever Papa and I decide will be what we think is best for you, do you understand, my pretty little chocolate chip?"

When she nodded, he said, "Let's go check on the quiche; Papa should be getting up soon and you know he'll be hungry. I don't want him mistaking you for a chocolate chip _cookie_ and biting you!"

Leona laughed and jumped up and down gleefully in front of him. "Daddy, you're funny!" she said as she raced off to the kitchen.

MFUMFUMFUMFUMFUMFU

Illya came out of his bedroom just as the quiche came out of the oven. "Morning," he grumbled as he poured himself a cup of coffee.

"Good morning, Sunshine! Leona and I decided that because you made us wait for you to get up, she will supervise you while you make us a salad. Everything you need is right there on the counter. I'm going to set the table and pour juice for us. Any questions, Papa?" When Illya rolled his eyes and shook his head, Napoleon smiled and said, "Good. Leona, make sure he does it right."

There was a method to Napoleon's madness. Illya could be very surly in the morning beyond his usual crankiness but, Napoleon knew he could avoid verbal grenades being hurled his way by simply putting their daughter in his company. He wouldn't dare say anything untoward to Napoleon with Leona around them. No matter how out of sorts the Russian might be feeling, he put his best face and attitude on when in her presence. His love for her was palpable.

Napoleon also knew Leona Nicole was not too happy with her Papa right now for not wanting her to go to the same school as Paige Greer so, he wanted them to spend some quality time together to strengthen their bond. He smiled to himself as he listened to Leona instruct Illya on the finer points of assembling a salad.

"Papa, you put the lettuce in the bowl _first_ , _then_ the tomatoes and the cu _cumbers_ ," she enunciated. "Daddy, did you hear me?"

"Yes, you said 'cucumbers' correctly, you smart girl! Is Papa finished making our salad?"

Illya placed the salad bowl on the table, then picked up and hugged the toddler before placing her in her chair. "Yes, the little taskmaster watched me like a hawk, too. I think it will pass her taste test. Don't you think so, Leona?"

Leona answered, "Yes, Papa" as she watched Illya put salad and a slice of quiche on her plate. She looked at Napoleon and asked, "Are you going to talk to Papa now?"

Illya stopped his fork midway to his mouth. "Talk to me about what?" he inquired.

"Something that can wait until later. Leona, Papa and I will talk without you, okay?"

"Yes, Daddy."

"Just remember what I said: Whatever Papa and I decide will be what we think is best." He smiled at her and signaled Illya to let the matter drop for now. "Papa, tell Leona what we're doing today."

"Leona, I was thinking that we would go to the Children's Fall Festival at the Queens County Farm. You can wear your Halloween costume if you like and we can watch the pig races and go on a hayride! And, we can pick apples, see the farm animals and go through the corn maze."

Leona's face lit up. "That sounds like fun, Papa but, what's a 'maze'?"

"Think of it as a puzzle that we walk through to get from one side to the other. I have never gone to one before but one of the secretaries Daddy and I work with took her children and told me they had a wonderful time. There are clues that tell you which way to go. If you make a mistake, you end up in a dead end and have to retrace your steps."

She squirmed in her seat. "Is it scary?"

Illya laughed, "No, I don't think so. We are all intelligent people; we will find our way. Afterwards, maybe we will pick out a pumpkin to bring home."

Leona clapped her hands together and exclaimed, "Oooo, we can make a jack o' lantern for Halloween and put a candle in it and put it in the window!"

Illya put his elbow on the table, put his face in his hand and looked at her. "I was thinking of pumpkin pie but, that is another way to go. It might be hard for anyone to see a jack o' lantern in a penthouse window though. Do you want to wear your Halloween costume to the farm?"

They had finished eating and Illya and Leona had gotten up from the table and were continuing their conversation as they went down the hall to her room to start getting ready. Napoleon had opted to clean up the kitchen, thus giving his partner and daughter more time together. _We're going to have to settle this soon,_ he thought, _we fly out on Wednesday to West Berlin. Leona needs to know what we've decided before we leave._ He sighed heavily as he headed off to his room to dress, _I don't think she's going to be happy._

MFUMFUMFUMFUMFUMFUMFUMFU

It had been a wonderful family day for this unlikeliest of families. As usual, Section Three had provided a car and driver/bodyguard to escort them to the farm in the Floral Park section of Queens. Leona Nicole had loved the petting zoo and showed no fear in the sheep pen when separated from Illya and surrounded by sheep that came up to her shoulders. In fact, her Papa had to rescue a sheep that Leona attempted to ride, much to the amusement of Napoleon and the mother he was flirting with outside the pen.

Illya had worn blue jeans, a sweatshirt and sneakers and had dressed Leona Nicole the same way so they could interact with the animals. She had decided not to wear her costume until she could go trick or treating with Paige the next day. Napoleon, on the other hand, was dressed in casual slacks, loafers and a polo shirt with his pullover sweater jauntily tossed around his shoulders. He thought of barnyard animals as nasty beasts that he had no intention of allowing close enough to touch him.

Napoleon did buy Leona feed for the goats from the gift shop and showed her how to hold it in the palm of her hand so that the goats would take it from her through the fence as he had no inclination to enter the pen. Once she got the knack of it, he stepped back and watched proudly; handing off to his partner the feed she had given him so that they could feed the goats together.

The maze had, surprisingly, been a bit of a challenge. Illya's natural caution caused him to leave a homing device at the entrance of the maze and prevented Leona from running too far ahead of them. Napoleon declared the homing device "cheating" and refused to utilize it; choosing instead to decipher the clues that were written on signs in various locations throughout the corn maze.

Leona made friends with several other children her age whose parents were also taking them through the maze and delighted in racing around laughing and playing with her newly formed group of companions. Some of the other adults looked askance at the little girl's guardians but, one well – placed glare from the smaller blond man convinced them that uninvited questions or comments would probably not be welcomed or tolerated.

When they had finally made their way through the maze, they headed off to the hayride and then watched the pig races. Leona had wanted to get a piglet to bring home and had to be convinced that penthouses in Manhattan were no place for such a creature. She was a little disappointed at first but, got over it quickly and happily helped her Papa pick out a small pumpkin for a jack o' lantern and a slightly larger one for a pie.

The festival ended at 4PM and by the time they had returned home, Leona was tired and hungry despite sharing a lunch of roasted corn, apple cobbler and hot dogs with her parents. Illya bathed and fed her while Napoleon made a quick run to the office in response to a summons from Mr. Waverly.

By the time he returned to the penthouse, it was after eight and Leona had been in bed for more than an hour. He went in to check on her and kissed her lightly and then went into the living room where Illya sat in a recliner reading a quantum physics magazine wearing those huge black horn rim glasses he preferred.

The Russian looked up from his article to ask, "Is everything alright?"

Napoleon nodded as he settled onto the couch, toed off his shoes and stretched out. "Yes," he replied, "The Old Man wanted to send another team to assist April and Mark and wanted my opinion about which team to send. Since they're going to be in several locations in India, I recommended Mahendra Rao and his partner, Neelum Banerjee who are currently assigned to the Bombay office. Between the two of them, they are fluent in Hindi, Tamil, Punjabi, Urdu and Nepali plus, Neelum has several very reliable contacts in India's Intelligence Bureau that should come in rather handy during this affair. I think Mr. Waverly was testing me and my thought processes because they were the team he said he had in mind all along. They should be fine working with Slate and Dancer." He grabbed a pillow and stuck it behind his head. "Illya, changing the subject: Leona is upset with you."

Illya removed his glasses and stared at Napoleon. "She is? It didn't seem like it. Why is she upset?"

Napoleon grinned and answered, "Because you don't want her to be a cat lick."

"Excuse me?"

"A cat lick," the brunet repeated, "That's Leona – speak for Catholic. She cried this morning because she wants to go to Marymount with Paige instead of the UN school. Apparently, Paige told her she overheard Lamont and Rosie say that you don't believe in God and that being a believer is a bad thing. She thought that if she became a Catholic, you would think she is bad and stop loving her."

Illya clasped his hands in his lap and appeared to study them closely. "What did you tell her?" he asked quietly.

"I told her there is nothing she could do that would make us stop loving her, that it's OK to believe in God and that I believe in God. I also told her that you and I would talk about it and that whatever we decided would be what we think is best for her."

The Russian continued to study his hands. "I see. So, what is there to talk about?" he inquired as he finally looked up at Napoleon.

"We need to decide what to do about Leona's religious upbringing. I mean, you're an atheist and I'm a Catholic. She doesn't have to be a Catholic but, I think she should learn about God. I know Lamont doesn't go to church so when Rosie does go, which isn't often, Leona stays with him while Paige goes with her mom. I guess it wasn't really an issue for her until she realized she's not going to the same school as Paige."

"What I would like to see happen," Napoleon continued, "is for Leona to accompany Rosie and Paige to Mass on those few occasions that they go. What do you think? Maybe we should look into her receiving religious instruction, too."

The blond man eyed the brunet suspiciously. "Is that all?"

Napoleon sat up and put his feet on the floor. " _'Is that all?_ ' Isn't that enough? What else is there?"

Illya's eyes widened in surprise. "Oh, uh, nothing, I guess. I think what you are suggesting is fine. I would like to provide her religious instruction, if you do not have a problem with that."

Napoleon's eyebrows shot up. "Really, Tovarisch?" he exclaimed, "Doesn't that violate the Atheist's Handbook or something?"

"You truly are hysterical, Napoleon. Seriously, I always thought of myself as an atheist but, I think I am more of an agnostic; I just do not know that a Higher Power exists. However, I can certainly teach Leona Nicole the basics about how different religions perceive God. Who knows? Maybe by teaching her, I might find some level of faith and some answers for me."

Napoleon shook his head in wonder. "Partner Mine, every time I think you can't surprise me anymore, you do. Come with me to the kitchen, I'll make us some hot chocolate."

In minutes, Napoleon had whipped together cocoa mix, hot milk, vanilla vodka and amaretto and poured it into two mugs. He handed one to Illya who sipped it and smiled approvingly. "I think this is a recipe I would like to learn," he said appreciatively, "Thank you, my friend."

Napoleon shrugged and sat down on one of the stools next to the counter. "You're welcome. It was just hot cocoa."

Illya sat next to him and glanced at the two pumpkins on the counter that he and Leona had picked at the farm. He looked at Napoleon and gave him one of his rare, honest, genuine smiles that seemed to light up his face. "I am thanking you for not throwing in my face that since you are paying for Leona's education you get to make the final decision as to where she attends school."

"Oh, so _that's_ why you asked what is there to talk about! You thought I had made a unilateral decision to enroll her in Marymount?" When Illya nodded, Napoleon said, "After the argument we had about my paying in the first place? Are you kidding me?"

"I hoped you would not do that but, what is that American saying about the Golden Rule? He who has the gold rules? Napoleon, so many times, you have had the opportunity to rub my face in your money and you never have. I trust you, Napoleon, I do but, there is that one small insecure corner of my mind that is constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. That corner is all that remains of the Illya Nickovetch who arrived here from the USSR trusting no one. It is _that_ Illya who waits for the day you let me down or leave me behind and who would have fought tooth and nail against _any_ religious training for Leona."

Napoleon downed the last of his chocolate and said, "And, this Illya?"

Another smile. "This Illya is a little more willing to compromise because he has come to believe that he will _not_ be abandoned or betrayed by you. This Illya has learned to have faith in his best friend and partner and, if he has learned that, then maybe he will learn one day to have faith in…other things."

"Having Leona has changed everything, Napoleon, including how I view the world. I do not think it is a bad thing for a child to have faith and believe in something or someone bigger than herself. Her childhood is not like mine; her beliefs do not have to be like mine."

Napoleon rinsed out the cups and placed them in the drain board. "Tomorrow is Halloween; Rosie is picking Leona up from daycare to take the girls trick or treating. She should be home no later than six. How do you want this to play out?"

Illya sighed, "I think it best that we speak with her when she comes home. To be clear, we are going to tell her that she will still be attending the UN school but, she can attend Mass with Rosie and Paige if she wants to, I will take the lead in teaching her about God and you will be baking pumpkin pie."

Napoleon sputtered, " _What?"_

The blond said over his shoulder as he headed off to his bedroom, "You certainly do not expect _me_ to do it! Have you so soon forgotten the soufflé debacle?"

Napoleon laughed to himself as he turned off the kitchen light, "Sneaky Russian! I should have known."

MFUMFUMFUMFUMFUMFUMFU

The next morning, Illya decided to go in to work with Napoleon so that he could see Leona in her Halloween costume and they could take their daughter to daycare together. Though unfamiliar with most children's Saturday television cartoons, he knew who Woody Woodpecker was and was pleased that Rosie had picked out a costume for his daughter that he felt was both modest and fun.

In addition to the Woody mask, it had a red hood with feathers on the top of it that fit over her head and tied underneath her chin. The rest of the costume consisted of blue pants with an elastic waist and a blue long – sleeved pullover with a white front. White gloves and yellow booties that fit over her sneakers completed the look. It was large enough that Napoleon could dress her in jeans and a sweater underneath it for warmth. When he was finished, he had sent her into the kitchen where the Russian sat drinking coffee for a final inspection.

"Napoleon!" he called when she entered, "Get a net! There is a giant red and blue bird in the kitchen!"

Leona laughed and launched herself into her Papa's arms. "It's me! Papa, do you like it?" Her Daddy usually dressed her but, it was her Papa whose opinion really counted when it came to how she looked.

He lifted her mask to kiss her nose. "I do, indeed," he had answered, "you look so much like a bird, I would not be surprised if you laid an egg."

Illya had packed an extra sweater to take to daycare just in case it got cool while she was out trick or treating along with Leona's pumpkin because Miss Davis had told them the children would make jack 'o lanterns to display in the classroom. When they arrived, each agent bent down to hug and kiss her goodbye. They watched her run off to join the other children and then waved to Miss Davis who had her hands full with witches, ghosts, pirates and one very precious red, white and blue bird.

When they got to their shared office, there was a message from Mr. Waverly for Napoleon to see him immediately. He dropped his briefcase and headed to the elevator. When he walked into Miss Rogers' office, she nodded toward The Old Man's door and said, "Go on in; he's expecting you."

Napoleon took his usual seat quietly as Mr. Waverly had his back to him, speaking softly into the microphone he preferred to use when communicating with his agents or other UNCLE offices. Though technology had advanced to make his microphone obsolete, he stubbornly refused to part with it and since he was still Number One, Section One, it was his prerogative to do so.

When he finished his call, he twirled his chair around to face his CEA. "Good morning, Mr. Solo."

He straightened up. "Good morning, Sir," he replied. Napoleon wished again that he could read his superior's face. He assumed he was there to receive additional information about the mission in West Berlin.

Mr. Waverly placed a file on the circular table and spun the lazy Susan around until the folder stopped in front of his Chief Enforcement Agent. "Damnably bad luck has befallen Agents Banerjee and Rao. They completed their part in Agents Dancer's and  
Slate's affair and were on their way to our Bombay office when they were apparently set upon by bandits. Agent Rao was performing evasive driving maneuvers to try to outrun them when he lost control of the vehicle just outside Ambanath. Agent Banerjee had apprised UNCLE Bombay of their situation and managed to activate his homing signal moments before they crashed. Unfortunately, Agent Banerjee was thrown from the car and killed. Agent Rao was gravely wounded but, managed to pull his weapon and hold his own against the thieves until backup arrived. They were able to capture four of the miscreants and kill two more. One managed to escape."

His superior's words stunned him. As a Section Two agent and, especially as Chief Enforcement Agent – North America, he knew the risks involved while on a mission but, _this…_ "Sir? Has Bombay determined that there was no THRUSH involvement? Is it possible these bandits were either THRUSH in disguise or hired by THRUSH to do their dirty work?"

Mr. Waverly harrumphed and reached for his pipe and tobacco. "The four captives were interrogated using Veritol 19. As you know, Mr. Solo, your partner, Mr. Kuryakin, helped develop that truth serum. It is quite effective and so far, no one, not even THRUSH, has stumbled upon the formula for the antidote. UNCLE Bombay established beyond a doubt that the motive for the attack on our men was purely robbery. If it had not been them, it would have been someone else. Agents Rao and Banerjee were in the wrong place at the wrong time."

Napoleon clenched his fists on his lap. It angered him to lose two agents in such a meaningless way; a stupid act of random violence had caused the death of a good man and serious injury to another. "What has become of the men who caused this?" he inquired.

"That is the reason I summoned you, Mr. Solo," The Old Man said as he tamped his Masked Duck blend of pipe tobacco into the bowl of his new Apple pipe. "You selected the team to assist Slate and Dancer; I think you should determine the fate of these men."

"Me, Sir?"

"Yes, Mr. Solo. Normally, deciding someone's fate in these matters is solely a Section One decision. However, since you are my first choice to succeed me, assuming you survive the field, Number One, Section One Asia and I have decided that _you_ will hold their lives in your hands. But, before you decide, I want you to take some time to think about it. You are leaving for West Berlin on Wednesday; you will tell me your decision by close of business tomorrow. That will be all, Mr. Solo."

Napoleon stood to leave. "Yes, Mr. Waverly," he said as he turned to go. _I'll think about it but, as far as I'm concerned, they should die for what they've done._ He smiled briefly at Miss Rogers as he strode through her office and out the door. He made a detour to the commissary and bought two cups of coffee to take back to the office. _If Illya's not there, I'll drink them both._

The door to their shared office slid open to reveal the Russian bent over his desk writing furiously on a legal sized pad with a pencil. He looked up and grinned when Napoleon placed a cup of coffee on his desk. "Spacibo, Partner," he said before taking a sip, "I'm working on a draft requisition for supplies I need for some experiments…What is wrong?" He watched as Napoleon slumped into his seat and rubbed a hand across his forehead, knocking his forelock into his eyes before brushing it back into place.

Illya listened intently while he drank his coffee as Napoleon recounted his conversation with Mr. Waverly. When he finished, Illya said, "Is it not ironic, Napoleon that I will be teaching Leona Nicole about God while you are playing God?"

The American frowned, "Illya, people have died at our hands and will die at our hands in the future. Are we playing God?"

The blond shrugged, "That is different and you know it. We kill in defense of ourselves and others or when Section One commands us. Section One decides life and death in a way that Section Two does not. You have a command decision to make and I agree with Mr. Waverly: You need to think about it. Anger and vengeance should not figure into what you decide. If it does, I would question seriously your ability to be Number One."

"Oh, come on, Illya, tell me what you _really_ think," Napoleon retorted sarcastically. He reached into his briefcase and pulled out the budget for Section Two. "Well, I have to get this thing finished by noon today so whatever I decide will have to wait until I hand this in to Finance."

Illya nodded and stood up. "I'm going to the lab. I also must complete this requisition by noon so that the Chief Lab Technician can include it in his budget. I'll see you later."

MFUMFUMFUMFUMFUMFUMFU

Napoleon finished his budget by 11:30. He placed it in an interoffice envelope and called Miss Scott from the Secretarial Pool to take it to Finance. As expected, she arrived within minutes of his call with a tight skirt and a bright smile. He took a moment to appreciate her long legs that wore a pair of seamed stockings tantalizingly well before handing her the envelope and telling her in a charming yet, business – like manner to remember to get a receipt for him.

"Is that _all_ I can get for you, Mr. Solo?" she asked in a husky tone that suggested there was _so_ much more she was willing to do for him. When he took her hand, kissed it and said _For now,_ y _es_ she was a little disappointed but, not discouraged.

He watched her stroll out his door and made a mental note to ask her to lunch in the near future before picking up the phone and calling Communications. He was glad to hear a familiar voice answer on the third ring. "Darla! It's Napoleon Solo, how are you, my dear? I need something; four men were interrogated in the Bombay office regarding an incident involving Agents Rao and Banerjee. Yes, those are the correct spellings. Right, I need the transcripts from those sessions on my desk by five o'clock. Yes, today. Don't care how you do it; this is a Priority One order. I knew I could count on you. Thank you, Darla." _Those transcripts will tell me everything I need to know to decide their fates,_ he thought.

MFUMFUMFUMFUMFUMFUMFU

As promised, Napoleon had copies of the four interrogations on his desk at five. He hadn't seen Illya since he had gone to the lab that morning. He was putting the reports in his briefcase when the pneumatic door slid open about fifteen minutes later and the Russian reappeared.

"Hey, Partner," he called in greeting, "I thought I would have seen you for lunch."

"I had a breakthrough with one of my experiments and totally lost track of time. By the time I had double checked my results and written up the report, it was almost four – thirty and it did not make sense to eat lunch then. Are you ready to go? I am hungry enough to eat a whale."

The American laughed, "The saying is 'I'm so hungry, I could eat a horse.'"

Illya grinned, "I know; a horse would not be enough. There is a new Russian restaurant that has opened on York Avenue. Let us get take out there before we go home. We have a serious conversation with Leona ahead of us and I would like some comfort food in my belly tonight."

Napoleon picked up his briefcase and grabbed their coats from the hooks behind his desk. Tossing Illya's to him, he held out his arm which activated the door and said grandly, "Lead on, McDuff."

MFUMFUMFUMFUMFUMFUMFU

By the time Rosie brought Leona home from trick or treating, Illya was ravenous and noshing on the pickled mushrooms and cucumbers he had bought for an appetizer from Svetlana's, the Russian restaurant that had recently opened on York Avenue. There was beef stroganoff and potato and mushroom – stuffed pirizhok warming in the oven and a Russian potato salad known as vinaigrette in the fridge. A loaf of Russian black bread sat on the counter waiting to be sliced.

Rosie handed Leona's treat bag to Napoleon but, declined to remove her coat. "I can't stay, guys; I have to get back home and get ready for tomorrow. All this trick or treating has put me behind schedule!"

Illya came out of the kitchen to stand next to Napoleon in the entrance foyer. "Rosie, thank you so much for taking Leona Nicole."

She scoffed, "It was just as easy taking two girls as it would have been taking one. They looked so cute together; little Woody Woodpecker here and Paige dressed up at Tweety Bird. The next time you come back home, I'll have the pictures Lamont took developed. I'll make sure he gets copies made for you. By the way, I checked all of Leona's candy, it's safe to eat."

Napoleon hugged Rosie and whispered, "Thanks, Rosie" before turning to Leona and asking, "Did you thank Aunt Rosie for taking you trick or treating?"

"Thank you, Aunt Rosie!" Leona said as she hugged her. Rosie hugged her back and then left.

"So, my little bird," Illya said to her, "your pajamas are on your bed. Go put them on and then we will eat dinner and then we will talk. _Da?"_

" _Да,_ _Papa_ _, я буду обратно!_ _"_ (Yes, Papa, I will be right back!)

After dinner, they allowed Leona to eat two pieces of candy for dessert. She graciously offered them treats for dessert as well but, it was obvious to the men that their daughter was deliberately steering them away from her chocolate and toward the boxes of raisins she really didn't want. They winked at each other and, feigning ignorance, each took a box of the dried fruit.

Napoleon nodded to Illya across the kitchen table and turned to face Leona who was sitting in between them. "Leona, Papa and I talked about what is best for you concerning your education and we have reached some decisions."

"We think it is important that you learn about God. We've decided that it would be a good thing for Papa to teach you about different religions and how different people think about God. We think going to Mass is a good way for you to see what it means to be a _Catholic."_ Napoleon enunciated, "so, we've decided that if you want to go to church with Aunt Rosie and Paige when they go, that is fine. However, we have also decided that you _will_ go to the UN school next year as planned." At the sight of Leona's crestfallen face, Napoleon's heart lurched and he said to Illya, "Papa, do you want to say something?"

"Yes. Leona, look at me." When she shifted in her chair to face the Russian, he continued, "I know you are unhappy that you will not be going to Marymount with Paige and I do not know if you will understand this but, one of the reasons we want you to go to the UN schoolis so that you will have your own group of friends."

Illya held his arms out to Leona and after some hesitation, she got up and allowed him to put her on his lap. "Leona Nicole, Daddy and I love you so very much. You do not see it too much now but, there is a big difference between age four and age six. When you start school next year, you will be five and in kindergarten and Paige will be seven and in the second grade. She will have already made friends in school and will want to be around them. We do not want you to feel slighted because you are not in her group. That is one reason why we decided as we did. We want you to be happy Leona, and we really think this is best in the long run."

Leona sat on her Papa's lap and thought about what Daddy and Papa had said. She felt good that she could go to church and Papa would teach her about God but, she really wanted to go to Marymount with Paige. Suddenly, she just wanted to go to her room and hold Rollo, her teddy bear.

"May I be excused, please?" she asked Napoleon, twisting around to do so.

He looked at Illya, who nodded. "Yes, you may," Napoleon answered her.

She climbed down from Illya's lap and walked out of the kitchen to her room. Once she stepped inside and turned on her lamp, she closed the door.

Illya sighed deeply. "It is official; our daughter hates me. She wouldn't even look at me!"

Napoleon went to the fridge and pulled Illya's vodka from the freezer. He poured three fingers' worth into a glass and passed it to his partner. "Do you regret the decision we made about where she'll attend school?"

The blond leaned back in his chair and swallowed half the liquid in the glass. "No."

"Then don't worry about it; she'll be fine. This may be her biggest disappointment to date but, considering what we do for a living, I will be _thrilled_ if this is the only thing she has to be sad about." Napoleon patted Illya's shoulder before leaving the kitchen. "Tovarisch, I'm going to the other side of the apartment to work on _my_ big decision. I'll see you later. Things will work out with her, you'll see."

Illya went to the living room to read. _I hope you are right, Napoleon._

MFUMFUMFUMFUMFUMFU

Two hours later, Napoleon was sitting at his desk in the home office with the four reports spread out in front of him. He had read each one twice and he was angry. Not because of anything he had read in the reports; he was angry because of what he _hadn't_ read. Nothing in them pointed to any THRUSH involvement or any espionage agency. _Just four low – level criminals trying to make a fast buck._ He sighed loudly.

_Truth be told,_ he thought, _I'm angry at myself because I can't have them executed or sent to Tartarus; those punishments are for spies and for spies gone rogue. They may be robbers and thieves but, they're not in The Game so by definition, they are Innocents! I don't have the right to kill Innocents so, now what?_

Illya went in to check on Leona an hour after she had gone into her room when he noticed the light still on and found her asleep on her bed clutching Rollo. Gently, he scooped her up into his arms and held her while he used his free hand to pull back the sheet and comforter. He smiled as she instinctively tightened her grip on him. As he laid her back down on the bed and pulled the covers over her, she stirred and opened her eyes slightly.

"Papa," she murmured, still half asleep.

"Yes, baby, it is Papa. Go back to sleep."

"Rollo said the UN school must be nice if you want me to go there so, it's OK, Papa; I'm not mad at you."

Illya placed the bear under Leona's right arm. "Rollo is a very smart bear. He must be Russian," he said as he kissed her cheek.

"Like you," Leona breathed. She was fast falling back asleep. "I love you, Papa."

He thought his heart would burst with love. "I know, I love you, too," he said to the sleeping little girl as he turned out the light. He walked to the door; pausing in the doorway, he whispered, "Good night, Leona Nicole."

He had gone back to the living room with his vodka and had finally finished reading his quantum physics magazine and was about to head to bed when he heard Napoleon coming back into the main apartment. He heard him open and close a cabinet door and then the ice tray rattled. A few seconds later, Napoleon was in the living room unlocking the liquor cabinet and pouring a glass of scotch.

Illya eyed him warily. "Did you reach your decision?"

The American sat on his favorite spot on the couch and leaned on the armrest. He sipped his drink and replied, "Yes, and I'm not happy about it." He toed off his shoes and tucked his feet under him. "I really wanted them either put to death or sent to Tartarus but, I can't; they are Innocents. So, I've decided to tell Mr. Waverly that I want them to have their memories of the run – in with Rao and Banerjee erased. Under interrogation, two of them confessed to other robberies, one confessed to murder and one confessed to arson for hire. The Bombay office will hand them and their taped confessions over to the local authorities. Whatever happens after that will hold no interest for UNCLE. It's not what I prefer but, it is the right thing to do."

Illya, who had actually shivered at the mention of Tartarus as any sane spy would, said, "I am proud of you, Napoleon. That could not have been easy for you. If it makes you feel any better, remember that the ability to do the right thing even if it is not what you want to do is what will make you an exemplary Number One, if you live so long."

Napoleon raised his glass in salute. "Thank you. I think," he replied. "Did Leona ever come out of her room?"

Illya shook his head. "No but, when I went in there to tuck her in, she told me that she and Rollo had talked it over and she is not angry with me." He smiled to himself. "She told me she loves me."

"Of course she does! I'm glad we're not leaving town with her ticked off at you. When is her first religion class?"

Illya stood up and stretched. "The first Saturday after we return. You will undoubtedly be on a date and she and I will have the place to ourselves. I do not want to instruct her with you hanging over my shoulder. I think I will start by teaching her about the Baha'i religion."

Napoleon grinned, "If I'm out on a date, the first thing you might want to teach her is how to pray for me!"

The Russian rolled his eyes and said, "Very funny, King Solomon. I am going to bed but, first I am going to sneak into Leona's Halloween candy. It is still in the kitchen."

"You're going to eat her _chocolate?_ She just forgave you for not wanting her to be a cat lick!"

"No, there were some more boxes of raisins in there. Goodnight, Tovarisch."

Napoleon sat sipping his drink gazing out of the window next to the fireplace at the bright lights of the City. He was content with the decisions he and Illya had made for their daughter and the one he had made for UNCLE. _All in all,_ he thought, _today was a good day. Let us pray tomorrow is even better._


End file.
